Remembering
by GeekWithHeart
Summary: Magnus allows himself to remember something he usually forces himself to forget.


**Remembering**

By

GeekWithHeart

"_Maha Persuka, you get away from that water right now!"_

Magnus Bane's eyes snapped opened in a flash as he pushed his subconscious away from the nightmare that had haunted him for over eight hundred years. Running a hand through his hair – which reminded him he needed a haircut – Magnus took in a deep and shaky breath. He hated sleeping. He was always up as soon as possible and stayed up for as long as he could. Sitting up in his bed, trying not to wake up the Shadowhunter lying next to him, Magnus quickly put on a pair black trousers, leaving the colours and sequins for a much happier moments, he walked into his flamboyantly decorated living room and walked over to his bookshelf.

"Can't believe I'm doing this," Magnus mumbled to himself before reaching up to the top shelf and grabbing the spine of a dusty and broken book that had obviously seen better days. Magnus frowned when he heard Chairman Meow hiss at him for touching the book he never, _ever_, wanted to look at again. "Well, I can't really go back to sleep now, can I?" He said to the cat, earning himself an attitude filled meow and his cat's rectum pointed towards him.

Rolling his eyes, Magnus grabbed the book again. Pulling it half way out of the shelf, exposing the bottom of the dark pages, Magnus froze again. "Oh, for goodness' sake, don't be such a coward!" He hissed at himself before tugging the book of the shelf and placing it onto the coffee table while he sat on his couch and stared at the plain front cover. Magnus had hidden this book away for years, unable to bring himself to even look at it for more than a few seconds, but today he knew he would have to. His dream had gone too far, he was about to relive it and he couldn't allow that to happen. His heart thumped quickly against his chest as he opened the book to the middle page, not bothering to look from the beginning, and was met with a sight that nearly brought him to tears.

It was a sketch of his mother.

Almond shaped eyes, olive tanned skin and caracole black hair that surrounded her heart shaped face in glorious waves. She was truly beautiful. An angel placed on earth to give hope to humanity. She had done nothing wrong in her entire life – until Magnus was born. Due to the Mark that he could not hide from those around him, his mother had taken her own life because of her devil child. The village people agreed with her decision – who in their right mind would want to raise the devil's child? – They set their anger and disappointment onto him from the day he was born, and Magnus still had not escaped from their cruel words and judgemental stares.

"Magnus?" Magnus jumps slightly and turns towards the bedroom door, where Alec Lightwood currently stands in dark blue flannel pyjamas and an old jumper. "What are you doing up?"

Magnus opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. He pats the spot next to him, inviting Alec to sit down with him. Alec slowly walks towards his warlock lover, rubbing his eyes in an adorable manner that makes Magnus kiss his cheek when he is sat down. "Who's that?" Alec asked as he pointed at the drawing.

"Oh," Magnus said, going to close the book, "It's no one. Don't worry." Alec quickly grabs it before Magnus can take it away and looks at the drawing.

"She's really beautiful." Alec says, his head tilting to the side as he examined the drawing. "You two look a bit alike. Are you related?"

"Yes." Magnus replied, "She's my mother." Alec turned to him in shock.

"What?" Alec exclaimed in surprise, turning back to the picture and looking at it more closely. Magnus chuckled slightly as he watched Alec trying to figure out the resemblances between the two people. Placing his arm around Alec's shoulders, Magnus place three gentle kisses against the Shadowhunter's neck causing him to blush as he looked over to his boyfriend. "I thought you didn't remember your mother?"

"I force myself not to," Magnus shrugged as if it were the most understandable thing in the world, "Sometimes I just need to let myself remember."

"Magnus," Alec sighed, "You shouldn't do this to yourself. You shouldn't force yourself to forget -,"

"Alexander, darling, can we not get into this right now?" Magnus asked desperately. Alec blushed and rolled his eyes. He squinted and pointed back to the picture.

"What is this?" He said pointing at a small piece of writing in the corner. Magnus took back the book and leaned forward to read the inscription.

"To my darling, _Maha_...I love you." Magnus said quietly before shutting the book and getting up to place it back on the shelf.

"Magnus, are you okay?" Alec asked as he stood up and wrapped his arms around Magnus's neck from behind, he was standing on his toes to be able to reach. He brushed his lips against his boyfriend's cheek and proceeds to blush when Magnus turned his head towards him.

"I'm fine, darling," Magnus promised, "Because I have you."


End file.
